Almost
by Siryn
Summary: So close, yet so far.......


**Title:  Almost**

**Author:  Siryn**

**Rating:  R for sexual situations**

**Paring:  Angel/Kate**

**Feedback:  Yes, please, but no flames!**

**Disclaimer:  They don't belong to me, no matter what the voices tell me.**

**A/N:  Post – "Somnambulist", written for the Buffy/Angel Lyric Wheel.  Thanks to Daera for the title and reading this despite never having seen Angel.**

The room was dim and cool.  Candles lit everything with a soft, surreal glow, and shadows danced across the walls.  The sheets were soft and smelled pleasantly spicy, and she was so comfortable she almost drifted back to sleep.  Until she realized she wasn't in her own bed.  Muscles protesting, she sat up, blinking the sleep away from her eyes and looked around.

            She was at Angel's apartment.  In his bed and she realized, glancing down, in his clothes.  Swinging her legs regretfully over the side of the bed, she tried to stand, but overcome by the sharp pain in her right ankle.  She cried out and sat back down.  When she looked up he was standing in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame.

                        "You're up," he stated.

            Kate rolled her eyes.  "Excellent observation.  Are you going to tell me what I'm doing here exactly?"

            He looked at her intently for a moment before replying. 

                        "The hospital didn't want to release you unless you had someone to take care of you for a couple of days.  You have a mild concussion, a sprained ankle, stitches in your shoulder and assorted cuts and bruises…" 

            She cut him off brusquely.  "What about my father?"  

                        "He, um, thought it might be better if I took you," he said, shifting uncomfortably.  Hurt flashed across her face, but she recovered quickly.

                        "Well, I'm fine now.  Just tell me where my things are and I'll be out of your way," she said, trying to ignore the throbbing ache in her ankle.

            He shook his head.  "Kate, you can't even stand up, let alone go anywhere.  If you're that concerned, reach under the pillow."

            Sliding her hand underneath, she pulled out a sharp stake.  "Are you trying to be funny?" 

                        "Not at all," he said over his shoulder.  He came back in with a glass of water and a bottle of pills and set them down on the table next to her.  "You need to take these every four hours and I had Cordelia go out and pick up some groceries in case you're hungry."  She grabbed his wrist before he stepped away.

                        "Look, I am flattered by your…..fascination with me, but are why are you doing this?"  She watched him carefully as he answered, looking for any sign of malicious intent in his dark eyes.

            He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Because you needed help."  She let go of him and he went to the door.  "I'll be here if you need anything."  The door shut with a quiet click, leaving her with a million thoughts racing through her head.  She picked up the bottle and read the label.  She recognized the medication from a back injury she'd had a couple of years back, but that didn't keep her from dumping them out and examining them closely.  When she was satisfied that they were legit, she took one with the water.  Before she could finish counting the ceiling beams she was asleep, her hand still clutching the stake.

*******************************************************************************

            _They were in the sewers again.  Penn was dragging her, his fingers digging painfully into her upper arm.  She tried to be calm, to force her mind to think clearly, but images of the other victims kept flashing through her head, the wounds in their throats, bleeding and jagged._

_                        "He's not coming for you, Kate.  He can't save you, you must know that," he hissed in her ear.  "You're going to die here, all alone."  _

_                        "What are you going to do?" she asked, trying to stop her voice from shaking._

_                        "Well, first I thought I'd stop everything and tell you my plan. Or better yet," he said, slamming her against the wall.  "Why don't I just show you?"  His face changed, fangs descending as he grabbed her throat.  "Aw, smell that fear.  Makes the blood sweeter."  She made an effort to keep from recoiling as he sniffed at her cheek.  "You know who taught me that?"_

_                        "I'm not afraid to die," she challenged, looking him in the eyes._

_            He chuckled.  "Oh, I'm not going to kill you.  But when I'm finished, Angel will."  He nuzzled closer to her neck and she felt her heart beating faster._

_                        "No, he won't," she stammered.  She could feel his smile as his fangs scrapped over her jugular._

_                        "Maybe you're right," he said softly, "Maybe I'll just leave you here for him to find instead."  And before she could get the holy water from her pocket, his teeth sank into her neck and she screamed out for him as her world faded to black._

            She felt something cool against her cheek and heard him saying her name.

                        "Kate, Kate, wake up.  It was only a dream.  You're all right.  It was just a dream," he said, his hand on her face.  Shrinking back from his touch, she sat up.  She was still shaking and she furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks.

                        "What happened?"

                        "You called out my name.  I came in and you were thrashing around.  You must have been having a nightmare."  He leaned over and handed her the water.  She couldn't help but notice he was wearing black cotton pants and nothing else.  He looked at her, an odd expression on his face.

                        "You're bleeding, you must have popped one of the stitches," he said as he stood up and rummaged through a box on the top of the dresser, not looking at her.

                        "How do you know…." She trailed off as he took gauze and medical tape out and sat on the edge of the bed.  He didn't answer, only motioned for her to turn around.  She hesitated, and he sighed deeply.   

                        "I need to change the bandage.  You have to trust me.  I'm not going to hurt you," he finished, and for a moment she thought she heard something like hurt in his voice.  She reached for the stake again and being mindful of not moving her ankle too much, she scooted around until her back was to him.  Unbuttoning her shirt, she lowered it below her shoulder blades.  His touch was light as he peeled the bandage off, and she inhaled sharply when she felt the peroxide on the open wound.

                        "Sorry," he said awkwardly.  He put his other hand on her shoulder, his thumb stroking up and down and she felt an odd stirring in her stomach.  'Like any hot-blooded woman,' she thought as she glanced over her shoulder, watching him throw the old dressing in the kitchen trash.  He moved fluidly, the muscles in his back and chest shifting and stretching tautly under his pale skin.  'Like anyone would be,' she thought as he came back into the room.  The bed shifted again as he resumed his position behind her.  There was a slight pressure as he taped the gauze in place and she shuddered involuntarily as his hand brushed over her spine.  

                        "Better?' he asked gently, his voice deeper than it had been before.  Her heart was beating wildly and when she turned to answer she found his face just inches from her. 

                        "Yeah, thanks," she answered.  For a second, neither one of them moved as the air crackled with tension.  Without thinking, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.  When he didn't respond she pulled away, an embarrassed flush staining her face.

                        "I'm sorry, I don't know what, I mean, the medicine must be affecting me," she stammered as she redid her buttons.  Before she could get the last one, his hand stilled hers.  He ran his finger along the underside of her jaw and just looked at her, his dark eyes locked on her pale ones.  Without warning, he kissed her hard, his hand tangled in her hair. 

            The butterflies in her stomach were going full throttle as she kissed him back, turning so she could run her hands over his hard stomach.  His other hand had wandered under the sheet and was lazily stroking her thigh.  She moaned into his mouth and he released her lips, and began to kiss his way down her neck.  He was kissing and nibbling at the hollow of her throat and she moaned again.  There was a voice screaming in the back of her mind that is was wrong, dangerous, but she shoved it away.   She felt his hand splayed across her stomach, thumb running along the waistband of her underwear.  Slipping her hand between them, she met his as they unbuttoned the borrowed shirt, pulling it back and to reveal an expanse of creamy skin underneath.  He kissed her again, more gently than before, carefully balancing his weight on top of her.  The press of his body against hers sent a wave of heat through her, and she ran her fingernails down his back, eliciting a deep growl from his throat.  He caught her nipple between his teeth, teasing it with his tongue until she arched her body up and had to bite her lip to keep from screaming out in pleasure.  She could feel his erection pressing against the inside of her thigh and when she tilted her hips and whispered his name, he stilled.  He opened his eyes and saw her, eyes unfocused and skin flushed with arousal.  She reminded him of someone else.

                        "Kate, wait, we can't do this," he said, untangling himself from her body.

                        "Yes we can, I'm not afraid," she replied, reaching for him.

            He leaned back and stared up at the ceiling.  "That's not why.  And it's not that I don't want to, I do."

                        "But you don't think of me that way?  Is that it?" she asked, the rejection plain in her voice.

He took her hand and turned it palm up, kissing the inside of her wrist, her pulse jumping against his lips.  "There's something I have to tell you.  Something about my past," Angel said quietly.  She sat up slightly and when she didn't move he spoke again.  "A hundred years ago, I killed a gypsy girl in Romania.  Her tribe punished me by restoring my soul.  As if that wasn't enough, the curse came with a condition.  If I ever found perfect happiness, perfect contentment, I would lose my soul and revert back the monster I once was.  Two years ago, I fell in love, and to make a long story short, we did this and I did.  I got it back, but got sent to Hell and back in the process.  I left her, walked away so she could have a life and try and be happy."  

"You have a soul? And you, you're not allowed…." she said, her mind trying to process this revelation.

"I don't know, but it's a risk I can't take.  I have too much to lose," he finished.  He stood up and went to door.  "And you're part of that.  I should let you get back to sleep."

            She knew that she might be making a mistake, but she was past worrying about that.  "Wait," she called, "you can, I mean, it is your bed, after all."  He hesitated for a second, but went around and slipped underneath the blankets.  She settled on her side, her back to him.

                        "Goodnight, Kate," he said softly.

            A small smile played on her lips.  "Goodnight, Angel."


End file.
